Screen and family

did you notice how much a screen, any screen, fill up the space and the time?

Let say that the children come home and their dad is on his computer, what happen? The children will certainly be happy to see their dad, say hi to him and eventually cuddle a little, they may even attempt to talk a little with him, if they do not feel that they are interrupting him from something which may be very important.

In fact, body language will guide them with what they will chose to do. If their father do not move much, keep his eyes on his computer or get back to it very quickly without moving from where he is sitting, the children will make it short and will go to do something else. On the other end, if their dad put his computer down or even better close it, and give them full attention, then the children will fully enjoy spending time with him, speaking about their journey, starting a real conversation.

You may observe this interaction in your own home, and not only with your husband but may be with yourself. It works for any screen, if you are watching TV and do not wish to be interrupted, your children will feel it because of your body language (or may be because you will ask to not be disturb).

When parents are fully available for their children, open to dialogue, it appears that the children enjoy sharing this time with them to talk about their journey. They will also certainly enjoy playing games with them.

I did observe in many families where parents love their own screen time that the child reproduce the same behavior. For instance, in this family where the father enjoy watching television and movies most of the time, his son does not really look to spend time with him playing or talking but instead watching a movie with him.

In an other family where the father spend most of his time on his computer, his son enjoy spending a lot of hours playing video games. Actually the son in the first case loves video games as well. In both case, kids are not involved in much active activities, they are not interested by the practice of a sport.

I am sure you could share some more examples and please do.
In some families, the TV is on in the living room, a parent may be on his computer and the children are in their bedroom watching their TV or playing video games. It is a very common family situation that can be find in any social level. Every one in the family is plug to a screen. Every one seem perfectly satisfy. Most of those families do not understand what could be wrong with this picture. After all, everybody in the family is happy, they are all enjoying their own "space". Let's say that it is a common evening, mom is cooking diner, eventually watching her program, Dad is watching his or doing his stuff on his computer and the children are watching their programs or playing video games or doing what ever they want on their computer. everybody is happy and satisfy. And it is like that everyday! Because everyday, mom has to prepare diner, dad has some stuff to do on his computer or a show to watch on TV and the children adapted to the setting, organizing their own center of interest around a screen.

But on week-end, they do stuff together, they may go out a little, have company. they may go out of town. Yes happily there is week-end where family may have more opportunity to really do something together away from a screen.

I believe it is worth observing your own family, your own interaction with your children and the consequence on your family communication and exchange.